Songs BETA
Guitar-wielding, quick-fire lyrics, catchy tunes, too many trick rhymes and puns.
August 2003
March 2004
Lv SngOriginal
Exactly when this song was written is lost to the mists of time. It was back when predictive text was still new and the smart phone was not even a thing.
1 March 2004
August 2004
March 2005
August 2005
Distracting RacistsOriginalLive
I wrote this song for live work in my second year of being a comedian. I did it at a bunch of gigs, and it was mainly a song about rhyming board games. It seems a bit cras now, but it has a nerdy heart to it. This version was performed live at the Fringe in 2005 during a show called Radio Blah Blah, which was both performed live and streamed to online listeners. I think the host was doing his best to create an atmosphere around rather ham fisted song.
13 August 2005March 2007
Eurovision - Clean Radio EditOriginalLive
This was recorded at a fundraising event in Manchester where the local BBC radio were present doing segments for the Phil and Gail show I've tried to tidy up this very noisy recording which had crowd noise in the background and lots of radio compression on it too. You can hear what's going on. At that time, Terry Wogan was still presenting Eurovision, and the pope was had a shady relation with Nazism in the past.
15 March 2007April 2007
Only a Real WomanOriginal
A McFly inspired song about how boy band love language does not translate when you're a few years older
1 April 2007
July 2007
30 Seconds - the 30 second remasterOriginal
This was recorded years before I put it on the album for The Seven Deadly Sings. I've put it through a remastering/remixing from extracted stems in May 2026 for the sake of pulling out more of what's in there
1 July 2007August 2007
Beautiful Girl in a ComaOriginalStudio
I'm not sure I was smart enough to have been parodying "Girlfriend in a Coma". This was a song I put together in my studio because I wanted to make something. It's a bit dark and some of the language hasn't aged well, but it's also written "in character" from someone whose values I never shared. I was definitely channeling both Bowie and the Conchords in some of the delivery.
26 August 2007January 2008
I Know How to Treat a LadyOriginalStudio
This is a song I wrote in the studio, and it was inspired by the idea of a guy who thinks he's really good at treating women, but is actually clueless. It's a bit of an uncomfortable listen now, but I had clearly thrown myself into the performance, and it's "in character" again. I do not agree with this character. The "percussion" in this album is a combination of finger clicks, and me rubbing my jumper.
10 January 2008April 2009
Robbie Williams UFO FanOriginalPastiche
This song was inspired by a documentary where Jon Ronson took Robbie Williams on the trail looking for UFOs. Robbie is a true-believer of UFO mythology, so this is the "Aliens" to his "Angels"
28 April 2009August 2009
December 2009
April 2010
June 2010
Amy Winehouse: ToastOriginalStudio
An Amy Winehouse pastiche about toast. From The Seven Deadly Jokes, Edinburgh Fringe 2010.
11 June 2010
September 2010
December 2010
May 2011
June 2011
August 2011
October 2011
December 2011
July 2012
August 2012
May 2013
May 2014
February 2016
Beta BondOriginalLive
For my somewhat discouraging Leicester Comedy Festival show, I wrote a song about male identity and James Bond. It went down better than I remembered it
7 February 2016January 2018
April 2019
May 2019
August 2019
October 2019
April 2020
May 2020
June 2020
December 2020
January 2021
March 2021
Juste quand tu pensais que c'était sûrOriginal
A song about Jaws in French. Bad French.
24 March 2021April 2021
July 2021
August 2021
December 2021
Waiting for Christmas 2021Parody
A Christmas song about Christmas going wrong, a parody of Walking in a Winter Wonderland. This was the Michael Buble track with his vocals removed and mine added. This was an early example of using stem separation to reuse "real tracks".
3 December 2021It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like LockdownParody
A parody of the Christmas song "It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas", based on a Tweet from Tony Cowards, which I extended to a fully parody and then sang
24 December 2021March 2022
A Glimmer of RomanceOriginal
A song I originally wrote for a fellow comic about his relationships, and have played live in my set many times over.
19 March 2022April 2022
The Lucid Support Services Easter Word SearchOriginal
A company on LinkedIn posted a wordsearch, and I thought it would be funny to make up my own words and set it to music
17 April 2022May 2022
Grow Your Bush to Save the World - Original videoOriginal
The original mix of this with a lyric video. I loved the sound of this song musically, but I couldn't quite get it to work live and friends were less convinced about it
17 May 2022June 2022
July 2022
How Long Has Boris Johnson Got Left?Parody
Parody of Four Seasons in One Day by Crowded House
7 July 2022August 2022
September 2022
October 2022
November 2022
Messing Around with Gnarls BarkleyParodyLive
One of the earliest examples of this song being done live as it started to become a permanent fixture in my set
16 November 2022What's Going on With Elon?Original
One of far too many songs I've written about the awful tech bro
17 November 2022December 2022
The Secret`s OutImprovised
A bit of early banter in the show from the MC led me to sing some secrets from the audience member in question
22 December 2022January 2023
February 2023
Messing Around with Gnarls Barkley - Where the audience are really up for itParodyLive
Very keen Welsh audience wanted to play along
12 February 2023March 2023
April 2023
Shit HusbandOriginalDemo
A song I tried once about people with shit husbands. It's a demo recording from when the song was written.
24 April 2023May 2023
June 2023
Tedious Prick ReactOriginal
This nearly made it into Ashley Frieze is Wasting His Time, in a longer acapella form
11 June 2023
July 2023
New Guy on the Weekly Call - Original music videoOriginal
Based on a real New Guy, this was written in a hurry and then produced over a huge number of hours of arranging, recording, and videoing
1 July 2023September 2023
Billie Eilish vs Potato MasherOriginal
My usual joke challenge format, but written at home and ending with a song
20 September 2023October 2023
Fill In Word - Original versionOriginal
The original video and the mix from the original recording in GarageBand
29 October 2023November 2023
December 2023
January 2024
The Local Facebook Group - Original versionOriginalStudio
the original mix with its original video, which took a lot of putting together
28 January 2024February 2024
Friz and Edi and MeJingle
a promo song for a show we were doing at the Leicester Comedy Festival
14 February 2024March 2024
Princess of Wales Photoshop FailOriginal
when the Princess of Wales released a clearly edited photograph and nobody knew why. A satirical song.
11 March 2024Andy's Man CubParodyImprovised
sort of improvised, sort of a parody – this was a bit I half planned and had to make up on stage
13 March 2024Oscar's House - LiveOriginalLive
this song was written for live work, and this is it in Chilwell Garage in Nottingham
24 March 2024April 2024
Trump 2024 CampaignAI
an early AI video when the idea of Donald Trump being president again still seemed ridiculous
13 April 2024October (Doggy)AI
What was meant to be a song like "September" turned into a sad song about the loss of a dog in a relationship breakdown.
17 April 2024
May 2024
Cyclists with Helmet CamsAI
mocking the passive aggressive helmet cammed cyclists out there, trying to entrap other road users into fights
13 May 2024Elon's Bedside - First versionOriginal
this is the songlet which was extended later to make an album version
20 May 2024Wishy Washy RishiOriginal
a close harmony mocking of the Prime Minister announcing the election in the rain
25 May 2024June 2024
Birthday Song - ShipstonOriginal
Bespoke song performed at a birthday party
1 June 2024The Return of FarageAI
a sarcastic anthem about how “great” it is to have Reform in the political landscape
4 June 2024Poor Little RishiOriginal
another auto-tuned harmony about the ex-leader of the Conservatives during the election
12 June 2024
Keir Starmer the Tool Maker's Boy - original shortAI
The version which led to the single release
15 June 2024Keir Starmer the Tool Maker's BoyAI
A song about Keir Starmer who is always banging about the fact that his father was a tool maker. A full version
17 June 2024
Provoking Pricks for Clicks - First versionOriginal
this was a single verse throwaway version of the song which I extended soon after to go on my album
18 June 2024Wedding Roast - CheltenhamOriginal
Bespoke song performed at a wedding
22 June 2024July 2024
No Rishi No SkyAI
based on an idea from Okse, this is a Bob Marley song about Rishi Sunak not having Sky TV
4 July 2024The Only Guy Comedian Without a PodcastOriginal
I felt like I was the only one of my peers not podcasting... er... I podcast a bit these days!
5 July 2024Summary of Doctor Who’s Warrior’s Gate Episode 1Original
a silly song I wrote for a private Doctor Who forum
16 July 2024Clacton Needs AnswersOriginal
why Farage needed to rush to the states (a rare song about him that’s not AI)
17 July 2024August 2024
September 2024
If You Were a WomanImprovised
from “ask a comedian” where the game was to answer questions – and I did them in song
5 September 2024
Spit on HimImprovised
in the peak of the Hawk Tuah girl, suddenly we all wonder what the spit on him song sounded like
16 September 2024The Plumber's Love SonImprovised
a mental health nurse and a plumber were on the front row, I serenaded them
21 September 2024October 2024
Hinton and HassabisAI
A topical song about the winners of the Nobel prize for AI being rather against its wholesale adoption.
10 October 2024
They're The Skeptics With a K - AI interpolationAI
For a bit of fun, I took the tune from the Skeptics with a K podcast and wrote some lyrics related to it, letting AI force the lyrics into the music. Ultimately this would have broken the licence of their stock music had they played it. So it remained a secret track.
28 October 2024November 2024
Birthday Song - MickletonOriginal
Bespoke song performed at a birthday party
2 November 2024Illuminated ExpectationsAI
a song about misadventures going to Blackpool, written for the wife and son of a fellow comic
17 November 2024Who Wants to be a Comedian Over ThereAI
a Cole Porter tribute about bad gig arrangements in Japan
21 November 2024December 2024
You're Watching BBC NewsAI
This took the voice of one of their newsreaders and tried to interpolate it into a song.
5 December 2024Sooty vs Turkey BasterImprovised
not entirely made up on the spot, but the lyrics were rattled out onto paper in the interval, and I made up the tune as I worked through them
5 December 2024Mouth TrumpetOriginal
a song without words made from a single take on the mouth trumpet
11 December 2024January 2025
SubtitlesOriginal
A song about watching videos on the toilet with subtitles - the first draft
25 January 2025February 2025
Grandma's BirthdayImprovised
on the spot reggae number about forgetting Grandma’s birthday
13 February 2025March 2025
They're The Skeptics With a K - with original musicOriginal
Following up from the AI version of the actual theme to this podcast, I wrote a real version of the song that was copyright to me, rather than restricted by their license. They dropped it into one episode. It's essentially a tribute to them and takes the piss a bit too
2 March 2025Jelly - A live coverCoverLive
Originally on Monkey Paw Too, this is me enjoying a chance to sing it myself
6 March 2025Don't Send Me a Voicenote - Original versionOriginalStudio
Ended up on Ashley Frieze is Wasting His Time - a grumpy complaint about voicenotes
8 March 2025Ch Ch Ch Change FreezeParody
A David Bowie parody about some companies's resolute obsession with stopping the flow of value
20 March 2025LinkedIn BlahAI
I just set some blether from someone on LinkedIn to AI music (with some extra words from me too)
27 March 2025April 2025
Proper CodersAI
How software engineering teams are mismanaged through the combination of penny pinching executives and the false promises of certain offshore companies - a Pulp pastiche
7 April 2025
Vibe CodingAI
A satirical song about vibe coders and the mess they can get into if they are not self-critical
24 April 2025
May 2025
She's Always Annoying to Me - live coverCoverLive
A live cover version of a song from Monkey Paw Too
31 May 2025June 2025
Why is Hugh Bonneville Always Whispering? - original versionOriginal
this version was recorded before I made the album and remade for the album later
1 June 2025Speech Isn't FreeOriginal
the original release of this song using the recording that was on the album, though it went through further mixing and sonic improvement
3 June 2025Netflix and ChilliAI
an AI song I found on my hard drive that made me laugh, so I released it
9 June 2025OnlyFans TeacherAI
based on a news article about a teacher who got struck off for being on OnlyFans
14 June 2025How I Wish (Doctor) Who Was HereParody
a summary of the Doctor Who series that had just ended - this was a gateway song to remake my connection to the Doctor Who Podcast
23 June 2025You're Going to Have to Admit it - extended versionOriginal
a longer version of the original, which was then recorded again for the album
26 June 2025July 2025
The Strimming Incident - OriginalOriginal
an acappella song about an accident with the strimmer
2 July 2025I Will Die on This Hill - OriginalOriginal
the original recording which would have been like that on the album, but for people goading me into making other versions
10 July 2025Your Tattoos Look Ridiculous - DemoOriginal
trying out the song before recording it properly for the album
12 July 2025The One Guy Who Doesn’t Appear To Do AnythingOriginal
a song about the guy at work who is present but not really doing anything
15 July 2025I Will Die on This Hill - FasterOriginal
faster with some additional backing vocals, made using autotune from the original vocal
21 July 2025I Will Die on This Hill - Much FasterOriginal
faster again with more additional fake backing vocals... leading to the final version getting its own real backing vocals
22 July 2025
MediumshipOriginalStudio
My reply to the psychics targeting me on social media advertising.
31 July 2025
The Strimming IncidentOriginalStudio
A song about the time I accidentally strimmed my own shin.
31 July 2025Why is Hugh Bonneville Always Whispering?OriginalStudio
The acting style of Hugh Bonneville
31 July 2025The Meeting That Should Have Been an EmailOriginalStudio
A brass band complaint about unnecessary meetings
31 July 2025The Local Facebook GroupOriginalStudio
The frustrations and pains of your local FB group
31 July 2025Billionaires Are Going to SpaceOriginalStudio
The trend of the rich entertaining themselves in space
31 July 2025Grow Your Bush to Save the WorldOriginalStudio
A childish song about environment and "The Bush"
31 July 2025SubtitlesOriginalStudio
A song about watching videos on the toilet with subtitles, an elongated version for the album
31 July 2025I'm Sorry I Overreacted to Your Social Media PostOriginalStudio
Nobody really even reads social media posts
31 July 2025August 2025
Circumcision Documentary Dad JokeOriginal
a dad joke about a documentary on circumcision
8 August 2025I'm Not Coming - Edinburgh Show VersionOriginal
the video I filmed with my daughter in which I sit in my boot and then climb a hill. Contains an early version of the mix with a different vocal to the album version.
12 August 2025Ode to Ghislane MaxwellOriginalStudio
ode to Ghislane Maxwell - a satire on the Trump administration's treatment of her
24 August 2025September 2025
Cackling Girl in the Dressing GownOriginalStudio
true story about an obnoxious woman in her jimjams in Tesco
1 September 2025Online RecipesOriginal
a demo of a song I hope to put on a future album. How online recipe writers are wasting all our time
27 September 2025You Have to WaitOriginal
Is this about romantic relationships? or is your printer broken?
29 September 2025October 2025
Kitty Cat BluesCoverLive
a cover version of the song from Monkey Paw Cowboy, performed live
5 October 2025Always Share Your Window Not Your ScreenOriginal
a song about oversharing on Teams meetings
6 October 2025Someone on the Internet is WrongOriginal
juxtaposes what we teach kids with what we do
15 October 2025NotificationsOriginal
my delight at yet another feed item saying I’ve been tagged as a follower of someone I care zilch about
22 October 2025Reply AllOriginal
nspired by people hitting reply all on a mailing list that shouldn’t have CCed us all
25 October 2025Nothing is TrueOriginal
a commentary on a world where increasingly less we see is real
29 October 2025Elton I QuitOriginal
From my show Discograffiti, this was a live version played at home to bring the song back into my memory
31 October 2025November 2025
Two People Comedy SketchOriginal
about how we find so many examples of one person pretending to be two
1 November 2025Reposted PropagandaOriginal
inspired when someone posted something that’s utter bollocks about coughing yourself out of a heart attack
3 November 2025Let Me Poo in Peace - First live attemptOriginalLive
this is a song I found half of on an old notepad at a new material night, so hastily completed and put a tune to... then got a bit wrong... then learned and did for real at a gig soon after
6 November 2025Jamaican Jerk Chicken - Original demoOriginal
a one liner I came up with during a gig, set to music
7 November 2025
Comments Section on FacebookOriginal
a songlet about the illiterate flag shaggers underneath any post about any news
17 November 2025Bitcoin CrashingOriginal
Bitcoin's fluctuations of the time of writing, plus its inevitable drift down to zero where it belongs
18 November 2025Bollocks - Original releaseOriginal
turns out I was commenting this a lot on internet posts, so I created a song to cover it
23 November 2025Nobody's Trying to Steal Your Christmas - Original demoOriginal
a response to the people complaining that you can’t get Christmas trees because of woke
24 November 2025Reform VotersOriginal
a piano ballad about Reform voters – it started off as the line “Have you painted any roundabouts lately”, which I thought sounded like the song “Have I told you lately”, so I extrapolated it to a new song.
25 November 2025Farage InterviewHybrid
my first proper hybrid, taking a sketch of words and tune, performed as a demo, giving it to AI, and then singing over the backing track that comes out. In this case, with added vocals from a Nigel Farage interview that I’d entirely taken out of context for comic effect.
26 November 2025December 2025
When Santa Worked at a Strip Club - DemoOriginal
a song that I wrote on a notebook at one gig, tried out by playing to camera at a second gig, and never performed, or released in any other form after… indeed, I’d completely forgotten about it
4 December 2025Bonnie Blue and Nigel FarageOriginal
a short song theorising why Bonnie Blue, the adult film performer, may be anti-immigration
12 December 2025Next ChristmasAI
This made it onto the Christmas episode, though they cut the last line, even though we all had a laugh about that line in the studio on the recording. Compliance eh! To be honest, when I heard this one, I knew it would be the one we'd use. It's a pastiche of "Last Christmas" and it slaps
17 December 2025Christmas in the AI BubbleAI
REJECTED song pitched to AI decoded for their Christmas show. This was quite Christmassy and quite about AI talking points but wasn't the favourite
17 December 2025Christmas DecodedAI
REJECTED song pitched to AI decoded for their Christmas show. It shows how we might need journalists to help navigate AI
17 December 2025The Champion of the Golden QuarterAI
an IT related song about how to protect from downtime during peak periods, someone’s assigned to stop everyone doing stuff
17 December 2025All of Crypto is a ScamHybrid
this one’s been sitting in my back pocket for ages – I had a lyric and tune, but I didn’t have the time to make a brass band to go with it… and my experience making a brass band for “The Meeting That Should Have Been an Email” has been putting me off doing another… cue Suno Studio adding to a cover version of my piano demo, and we got a backing track for me to sing over
19 December 2025Big MaxImprovised
an improvised song from Mad Friday at Hull Comedy Lounge where someone rudely went to the toilet, so I set them to music
19 December 2025The Mandela EffectOriginal
a second round of the song… or am I just misremembering the first one
20 December 2025Family PoliticsCover
this is me singing a cover song of a track from Christmas Slop. I wrote the lyrics. The AI wrote the tune and original arrangement. This is a live acoustic cover.
20 December 2025Nobody's Trying to Steal Your Christmas - JazzHybrid
a hybrid remix of the song from November - added a jazz backing to my original, while waiting in my car for a gig to start
20 December 2025The Mandela Effect - UkuleleOriginal
a third round of the song… maybe I have to keep plugging away at this until people get the second layer of joke
22 December 2025The Mandela Effect - 12 StringOriginal
a fourth version of the song, on 12 string guitar
30 December 2025January 2026
What are Turkish Barbers Up To?Original
Trying to explore the way people are suspicious of Turkish barbers, done as a classic fake duo on an internet reel
2 January 2026I'm turning your comments into comedy songs! 🎶Spoken Word
I'm turning your comments into comedy songs! 🎶 A comedy song writing challenge where you're in charge of what happens next. If you want to hear a song about it, then drop a suggestion. Be careful what you wish for.
3 January 2026
Song Challenge #1 - Romanian boy with dreams of being a West End star a writing challenge songOriginal
A Romanian boy with dreams of being a West End star.
6 January 2026Song Challenge #2 - The Santa Piece of Coal ExpeditionOriginal
A boy with a complaint for Santa.
9 January 2026Song Challenge #3 - Backflipping Trampoline DogOriginal
A dog learning to backflip on a trampoline.
12 January 2026The Ferrero Rocher Dad JokeOriginal
It's the high speed chocolate joke. A silly dad joke about cars and chocolate.
12 January 2026Song Challenge #4 - The Animal City Where Popcorn is IllegalOriginal
A city full of animals where popcorn is illegal.
13 January 2026Song Challenge #5 - When You’re on Social Media But Need a WeeOriginal
Needing a wee, but being stuck on social media.
14 January 2026Song Challenge #6 - Cheating Bridie BoyOriginal
Someone caught cheating and punished with pastry.
15 January 2026Song Challenge #7 - A Girl Called PuddingOriginal
A relationship with a girl called Pudding.
17 January 2026Song Challenge #9 - Up The Boro'Original
Middlesbrough being promoted. Song writing challenge
20 January 2026Song Challenge #10 - The Buttered Slice of ToastOriginal
A weird series of events leading to toast. Song writing challenge
21 January 2026Song Challenge #11 - Don't Eat Soap - Lush is Not a Sweet ShopOriginal
Why you shouldn't eat soap, even nice ones. Song writing challenge
22 January 2026Oh, The Traitors (TV Show)Original
Think you like the TV Show The Traitors? How about if I tell you that it's actually a very slow version of a game that isn't very good?
27 January 2026Song Challenge #16 - Kermit Ghost PepperHybrid
Kermit the Frog eating a Ghost Pepper.
28 January 2026Song Challenge #17 - You Need RedbullOriginal
A motorcycle accident and a can of redbull.
29 January 2026February 2026
The Nonces of NewsHybrid
When the news is quite depressing. This was sung into Suno to get the backing track
1 February 2026Song Challenge #21 - Animal Crossing AnimeHybrid
Animal Crossing New Leaf in the style of Anime.
4 February 2026Song Challenge #23 - Deep and Searing PainOriginal
Heartbreaking song about pain and hurt.
6 February 2026Don't Send Me a Voicenote - Piano versionOriginal
This version did quite well, triggering a lot of people it seemed.
7 February 2026Song Challenge #24 - You're Not a LoserOriginal
How if you've experienced loss, you're not a loser.
8 February 2026Song Challenge #25 - Faster Than the Speed of LightOriginal
Queen-inspired song about faster than light travel.
9 February 2026Song Challenge #26 - Desperately Seeing AdorationOriginal
Why we're all begging for followers and likes.
10 February 2026Song Challenge #28 - Explosive DiarrhoeaOriginal
Heartbreak and explosive diarrhoea.
12 February 2026Song Challenge #29 - Unusual Time SignatureOriginal
Complicated and unusual time signatures.
13 February 2026Song Challenge #31 - If I Were a TreeOriginal
Trees, or is it? A little bit of arborial smut.
15 February 2026Song Challenge #32 - Rice KrispiesOriginal
A particular brand of breakfast cereal - Rice Krispies.
18 February 2026Song Challenge #33 - Fifty Different Sorts of LightbulbOriginal
The bewildering array of different light bulbs.
19 February 2026Song Challenge #34 - Four StringsOriginal
Bass players who use more than four strings, as requested by a bass player who uses more than four strings.
20 February 2026
The Keeper of Traken - Big Finish #26Hybrid
For the episode about the Big Finish audio drama "Primeval", this is a pastiche of "Losing My Religion" fused with the vibe of needing a Keeper of Traken. Used on episode #26
22 February 2026
Song Challenge #36 - Loo BreakOriginal
Being on a long car journey in traffic and needing the loo.
23 February 2026Song Challenge #37 - Dad Jokes, Bad JokesOriginal
Silly one liners and other assorted dad jokes.
24 February 2026Song Challenge #39 - Cancelled CartoonsOriginal
Our childhood cartoons getting cancelled.
26 February 2026March 2026
Song Challenge #29 - Unusual Time Signature - Live versionOriginalLive
A live version of a song from the song-writing challenge. Performed at a music event in London
3 March 2026Venus - Big Finish #27 (rejected)AI
Another one with full AI music. I added this as an Easter Egg, but it wasn actually used in the episode. It was my attempt to answer the question of what was the winning entry to the intergalactic song contest.
5 March 2026A Very Lonely Jelloid - Big Finish #27Hybrid
This is a rare case of me not composing the music for this song, but giving it to Suno to extrapolate from the limited musical material already in their episode. I wanted to get the vibe of the existing sound design without making it into something of my own. I drove it with lyrics, but then sang those lyrics in my best accent. As featured on Episode #27
11 March 2026Song Challenge #46 - Welsh MaryOriginal
The wonderful Welsh Mary in the Motorway Services.
16 March 2026Invaders from Mars - Big Finish #28Hybrid
I think the song was obvious with this one. It had to be a Bowie pastiche. I played this on piano and then created the soundtrack with AI. I also appeared on the episode which reviewed this story.
18 March 2026Stuck in a Time Loop Again - Big Finish #29Hybrid
a pastiche of Stuck in the Middle With You converted from a guitar vocal demo by me into a short song via Suno. As with all these things, there's writing, editing and sound engineering, and ultimately it's an original song with music and lyrics by me. Written for The Doctor Who Podcast about the Big Finish audio - The Chimes of Midnight
20 March 2026That's Annoying - Being pursued by fake Kaylee Rose botsOriginal
I interacted with Kaylee rose on TikTok, and I'm still being targeted by bots pretending to be her, so I wrote a song about it.
23 March 2026You Can't Take Your Country BackOriginal
As I spotted an old school friend falling down the well of believing the populism of the far right, I thought I would write a rebuttal to his life.
25 March 2026Doctor Who Mastermind SongHybridJingle
A song I wrote and sing vocals on and play bass on, but which was Suno-ed to get the other parts. It has some nice references to Doctor Who episodes and trivia in it too.
26 March 2026When You're a DuckHybrid
A silly ballad on a kazoo with some random stuff about ducks in it. Started life as a kazoo bit to camera, and then I put it through Suno to get the backing to follow the track. I then edited the heck out of it.
26 March 2026Get Out the Middle Lane - Original versionOriginal
The original version, which did good numbers and really needs to be followed up with a single
27 March 2026The First QuestionOriginal
A jingle for a segment about the 11th Doctor Big Finish audio dramas
31 March 2026April 2026
April Fools - (in the age of misinformation)Original
A satire on how people are very credible online, and others are now much more aware that everyone is talking bollocks
1 April 2026Ken BruceOriginal
A song about Ken Bruce, written for my wife, after we had tried to work out who the good guys are in radio, given the firing of Scott Mills. Mainly an excuse to do my version of Rob Brydon's Ken Bruce impression, but also a bit of a love letter to the man himself.
2 April 2026Fill In Word - Re-release with album mix on it
The original video with new subtitles (though the existing lyrics are in vision in the form anyway), and the mix from the album on it
4 April 2026Let Me Poo in Peace
A song inspired by being interrupted on the toilet when you're a parent. Full video on this version
5 April 2026Don't Send Me a Voicenote - Live on album launch nightOriginalLive
This is a live version of the song, performed on the album launch night at Reckless in Leamington
6 April 2026The Nimon Hop - Big Finish #30Hybrid
from a piano demo through Suno to a Latin Salsa horny track about The Nimon from a Doctor Who story. First included in The Doctor Who Podcast Echo Chamber #30
14 April 2026Song Challenge #50 - The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Facts of LineOriginal
Mutant ninja turtles and the birds and the bees.
15 April 2026Song Challenge #53 - Builder's TeaOriginal
Everything you wanted to know about a special brew that's not Special Brew
18 April 2026Song Challenge #55 - InconsequentialOriginal
Whether life's inconsequential or has meaning.
22 April 2026Mastermind WhoParodyJingle
A theme tune for the Doctor Who Mastermind quiz, a mashup of the Mastermind TV Theme tune (approaching menace) and the Doctor Who theme (Murray Gold version).
22 April 2026Embrace The Darkness - Big Finish #31Parody
a parody song of The Sound of Silence as a story epilogue for a Big Finish story of the same name
22 April 2026The Powell EstateHybrid
for the Doctor Who Podcast about Rose's home estate, but in the style of the theme from Neighbours, half parody song, half pastiche... too close to call. Me on vocals.
23 April 2026Get Out the Middle Lane - Full song, LiveOriginalLive
My song about middle lane hoggers, tried in full, for the first time live. The promoter wanted me to dedicate it to his partner.
24 April 2026Something In The BeansOriginal
Inspired by the vibe of the coffee shop scene in The End of Time between Wilf and the 10th Doctor. A short musing on life, death, four knocks, and coffee beans. It's just me at my piano.
25 April 2026He Really Didn't Want to GoHybrid
an original composition converted to a tango by Suno and sung by me, about the regenerations surrounding Tennant's Doctors
25 April 2026Song Challenge #56 - Macca BananaOriginal
Paul McCartney eating an unpeeled banana. Channelling my inner Mitch Benn
26 April 2026George and Zippy do Baby One More TimeCover
A cover of the song Baby One More Time by Britney Spears, performed in the style of George and Zippy from Rainbow. A long-term part of my set.
26 April 2026Whole Lotta Shakespeare - Big Finish #32Hybrid
An Elvis style number with me on vocals (bvs and band by Suno from my own composition) about a Big Finish story for The Doctor Who Podcast
29 April 2026In The Matrix - Big Finish #33Hybrid
for The Doctor Who Podcast, inspired by a Big Finish story – Neverland – a disco song about the matrix on Gallifrey
30 April 2026Singing RhubarbImprovisedOriginal
An improvised/written offstage and sung for the first time on, based on some MC conversation with an audience member about their selling of Singing Rhubarb.
30 April 2026May 2026
Has My Time Gone By? - Big Finish #33 (pitch)Hybrid
A pitch for The Doctor Who Podcast, inspired by a Big Finish story, a full song with me singing and playing on the piano, augmented by a couple of stems from Suno and then edited to death
1 May 2026Catfish and ChipsOriginal
A quick satirical song inspired by seeing the headline on the BBC News about chip shops quietly substituting catfish for cod
1 May 2026Song Challenge #62 - Nasty New York AirOriginal
The air quality in New York City. Channeling Sting for this.
2 May 2026The Local Facebook Group - Promotional re-releaseOriginalStudio
This is the original video of the song, marked with some album art, and the mix from the album.
4 May 2026The Strimming Incident - Promotional re-releaseOriginalStudio
This is the original video of the song, marked with some album art, and the mix from the album.
4 May 2026Song Challenge #64 - Ex In The AtticHybrid
Sitcom theme tune for a show called Ex In The Attic.
5 May 2026Song Challenge #65 - Secretly CheeseOriginal
A girl who is secretly cheese, packed with cheese puns.
6 May 2026Polling EtiquetteOriginal
A little comedy song on polling day for the UK council elections, inspired by an article on the BBC
7 May 2026
Eurovision - Random AI CoverHybrid
While using Suno to stem split this track to try to reduce noise, I wondered how it might manage a cover version of quite a loose performance. The answer is remarkably well
10 May 2026Song Challenge #68 - Balaclava Phone ThiefOriginal
A song about a mysterious phone thief wearing a balaclava.
10 May 2026Song Challenge #69 - Skid MarkOriginal
When someone offers to follow you if you write a song about poo stains.
11 May 2026We Will Survive - Big Finish #34Hybrid
Relating to the Big Finish audio "Spare Parts", this is a pastiche of "I Will Survive" relating to the plot-point and catchphrase around survival in the episode. It started life as a piano vocal demo, where I re-wrote the DNA of the Gloria Gaynor classic to be the same but different and sung the lyrics. Then we spent time in Suno making a cover and adding more stems to the the raw material to edit to death in Logic.
11 May 2026Song Challenge #70 - Toad is Flying the A PlaneOriginal
The request was for "Toad flying A Plane", so I gave them what they asked for
12 May 2026Song Challenge #71 - Chucky CheeseOriginal
A repeated request for a cock and bull story about the theft of some macaroni cheese in broad daylight!
13 May 2026Song Challenge #72 - Dementia Dinner LadyOriginal
The request is to write about the life of someone who serves food to Alzheimer's patients. To be honest, I sidestepped the rather poignant subject and wrote a song about messy eating.
15 May 2026Song Challenge #73 - Kitty SeanceOriginal
They think their screaming cat might be talking to ghosts, so here's a spooky song about cats and the occult
18 May 2026Song Challenge #74 - Tesco ParkingOriginal
Why you should park your car in the trolley park instead of a parking space.
19 May 2026Song Challenge #75 - Vaping DoggyOriginal
A song about a dog that stole a vape and then had a puff on it.
20 May 2026Hinton and Hassabis - Suno Studio RemakeAI
I always liked the original of this, but it was a bit mashed by Udio and the editing process of trying to get it to work. A Suno cover version with some extra stems and mixing makes for a better revisit.
20 May 2026