Songs BETA
Guitar-wielding, quick-fire lyrics, catchy tunes, too many trick rhymes and puns.
January 2026
What are Turkish Barbers Up To?Original
Trying to explore the way people are suspicious of Turkish barbers, done as a classic fake duo on an internet reel
2 January 2026
I'm turning your comments into comedy songs! 🎶Spoken Word
I'm turning your comments into comedy songs! 🎶 A comedy song writing challenge where you're in charge of what happens next. If you want to hear a song about it, then drop a suggestion. Be careful what you wish for.
3 January 2026
Song Challenge #1 - Romanian boy with dreams of being a West End star a writing challenge songOriginal
A Romanian boy with dreams of being a West End star.
6 January 2026Song Challenge #2 - The Santa Piece of Coal ExpeditionOriginal
A boy with a complaint for Santa.
9 January 2026Song Challenge #3 - Backflipping Trampoline DogOriginal
A dog learning to backflip on a trampoline.
12 January 2026The Ferrero Rocher Dad JokeOriginal
It's the high speed chocolate joke. A silly dad joke about cars and chocolate.
12 January 2026Song Challenge #4 - The Animal City Where Popcorn is IllegalOriginal
A city full of animals where popcorn is illegal.
13 January 2026Song Challenge #5 - When You’re on Social Media But Need a WeeOriginal
Needing a wee, but being stuck on social media.
14 January 2026Song Challenge #6 - Cheating Bridie BoyOriginal
Someone caught cheating and punished with pastry.
15 January 2026Song Challenge #7 - A Girl Called PuddingOriginal
A relationship with a girl called Pudding.
17 January 2026Song Challenge #9 - Up The Boro'Original
Middlesbrough being promoted. Song writing challenge
20 January 2026Song Challenge #10 - The Buttered Slice of ToastOriginal
A weird series of events leading to toast. Song writing challenge
21 January 2026Song Challenge #11 - Don't Eat Soap - Lush is Not a Sweet ShopOriginal
Why you shouldn't eat soap, even nice ones. Song writing challenge
22 January 2026Oh, The Traitors (TV Show)Original
Think you like the TV Show The Traitors? How about if I tell you that it's actually a very slow version of a game that isn't very good?
27 January 2026Song Challenge #16 - Kermit Ghost PepperHybrid
Kermit the Frog eating a Ghost Pepper.
28 January 2026Song Challenge #17 - You Need RedbullOriginal
A motorcycle accident and a can of redbull.
29 January 2026February 2026
The Nonces of NewsHybrid
When the news is quite depressing. This was sung into Suno to get the backing track
1 February 2026Song Challenge #21 - Animal Crossing AnimeHybrid
Animal Crossing New Leaf in the style of Anime.
4 February 2026Song Challenge #23 - Deep and Searing PainOriginal
Heartbreaking song about pain and hurt.
6 February 2026Don't Send Me a Voicenote - Piano versionOriginal
This version did quite well, triggering a lot of people it seemed.
7 February 2026Song Challenge #24 - You're Not a LoserOriginal
How if you've experienced loss, you're not a loser.
8 February 2026Song Challenge #25 - Faster Than the Speed of LightOriginal
Queen-inspired song about faster than light travel.
9 February 2026Song Challenge #26 - Desperately Seeing AdorationOriginal
Why we're all begging for followers and likes.
10 February 2026Song Challenge #28 - Explosive DiarrhoeaOriginal
Heartbreak and explosive diarrhoea.
12 February 2026Song Challenge #29 - Unusual Time SignatureOriginal
Complicated and unusual time signatures.
13 February 2026Song Challenge #31 - If I Were a TreeOriginal
Trees, or is it? A little bit of arborial smut.
15 February 2026Song Challenge #32 - Rice KrispiesOriginal
A particular brand of breakfast cereal - Rice Krispies.
18 February 2026Song Challenge #33 - Fifty Different Sorts of LightbulbOriginal
The bewildering array of different light bulbs.
19 February 2026Song Challenge #34 - Four StringsOriginal
Bass players who use more than four strings, as requested by a bass player who uses more than four strings.
20 February 2026
The Keeper of Traken - Big Finish #26Hybrid
For the episode about the Big Finish audio drama "Primeval", this is a pastiche of "Losing My Religion" fused with the vibe of needing a Keeper of Traken. Used on episode #26
22 February 2026
Song Challenge #36 - Loo BreakOriginal
Being on a long car journey in traffic and needing the loo.
23 February 2026Song Challenge #37 - Dad Jokes, Bad JokesOriginal
Silly one liners and other assorted dad jokes.
24 February 2026Song Challenge #39 - Cancelled CartoonsOriginal
Our childhood cartoons getting cancelled.
26 February 2026March 2026
Song Challenge #29 - Unusual Time Signature - Live versionOriginalLive
A live version of a song from the song-writing challenge. Performed at a music event in London
3 March 2026Venus - Big Finish #27 (rejected)AI
Another one with full AI music. I added this as an Easter Egg, but it wasn actually used in the episode. It was my attempt to answer the question of what was the winning entry to the intergalactic song contest.
5 March 2026A Very Lonely Jelloid - Big Finish #27Hybrid
This is a rare case of me not composing the music for this song, but giving it to Suno to extrapolate from the limited musical material already in their episode. I wanted to get the vibe of the existing sound design without making it into something of my own. I drove it with lyrics, but then sang those lyrics in my best accent. As featured on Episode #27
11 March 2026Song Challenge #46 - Welsh MaryOriginal
The wonderful Welsh Mary in the Motorway Services.
16 March 2026
Invaders from Mars - Big Finish #28Hybrid
I think the song was obvious with this one. It had to be a Bowie pastiche. I played this on piano and then created the soundtrack with AI. I also appeared on the episode which reviewed this story.
18 March 2026Stuck in a Time Loop Again - Big Finish #29Hybrid
a pastiche of Stuck in the Middle With You converted from a guitar vocal demo by me into a short song via Suno. As with all these things, there's writing, editing and sound engineering, and ultimately it's an original song with music and lyrics by me. Written for The Doctor Who Podcast about the Big Finish audio - The Chimes of Midnight
20 March 2026That's Annoying - Being pursued by fake Kaylee Rose botsOriginal
I interacted with Kaylee rose on TikTok, and I'm still being targeted by bots pretending to be her, so I wrote a song about it.
23 March 2026You Can't Take Your Country BackOriginal
As I spotted an old school friend falling down the well of believing the populism of the far right, I thought I would write a rebuttal to his life.
25 March 2026Doctor Who Mastermind SongHybridJingle
A song I wrote and sing vocals on and play bass on, but which was Suno-ed to get the other parts. It has some nice references to Doctor Who episodes and trivia in it too.
26 March 2026When You're a DuckHybrid
A silly ballad on a kazoo with some random stuff about ducks in it. Started life as a kazoo bit to camera, and then I put it through Suno to get the backing to follow the track. I then edited the heck out of it.
26 March 2026Get Out the Middle Lane - Original versionOriginal
The original version, which did good numbers and really needs to be followed up with a single
27 March 2026The First QuestionOriginal
A jingle for a segment about the 11th Doctor Big Finish audio dramas
31 March 2026April 2026
April Fools - (in the age of misinformation)Original
A satire on how people are very credible online, and others are now much more aware that everyone is talking bollocks
1 April 2026Ken BruceOriginal
A song about Ken Bruce, written for my wife, after we had tried to work out who the good guys are in radio, given the firing of Scott Mills. Mainly an excuse to do my version of Rob Brydon's Ken Bruce impression, but also a bit of a love letter to the man himself.
2 April 2026Fill In Word - Re-release with album mix on it
The original video with new subtitles (though the existing lyrics are in vision in the form anyway), and the mix from the album on it
4 April 2026Let Me Poo in Peace
A song inspired by being interrupted on the toilet when you're a parent. Full video on this version
5 April 2026Don't Send Me a Voicenote - Live on album launch nightOriginalLive
This is a live version of the song, performed on the album launch night at Reckless in Leamington
6 April 2026The Nimon Hop - Big Finish #30Hybrid
from a piano demo through Suno to a Latin Salsa horny track about The Nimon from a Doctor Who story. First included in The Doctor Who Podcast Echo Chamber #30
14 April 2026Song Challenge #50 - The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Facts of LineOriginal
Mutant ninja turtles and the birds and the bees.
15 April 2026Song Challenge #53 - Builder's TeaOriginal
Everything you wanted to know about a special brew that's not Special Brew
18 April 2026Song Challenge #55 - InconsequentialOriginal
Whether life's inconsequential or has meaning.
22 April 2026
Mastermind WhoParodyJingle
A theme tune for the Doctor Who Mastermind quiz, a mashup of the Mastermind TV Theme tune (approaching menace) and the Doctor Who theme (Murray Gold version).
22 April 2026Embrace The Darkness - Big Finish #31Parody
a parody song of The Sound of Silence as a story epilogue for a Big Finish story of the same name
22 April 2026The Powell EstateHybrid
for the Doctor Who Podcast about Rose's home estate, but in the style of the theme from Neighbours, half parody song, half pastiche... too close to call. Me on vocals.
23 April 2026Get Out the Middle Lane - Full song, LiveOriginalLive
My song about middle lane hoggers, tried in full, for the first time live. The promoter wanted me to dedicate it to his partner.
24 April 2026Something In The BeansOriginal
Inspired by the vibe of the coffee shop scene in The End of Time between Wilf and the 10th Doctor. A short musing on life, death, four knocks, and coffee beans. It's just me at my piano.
25 April 2026He Really Didn't Want to GoHybrid
an original composition converted to a tango by Suno and sung by me, about the regenerations surrounding Tennant's Doctors
25 April 2026Song Challenge #56 - Macca BananaOriginal
Paul McCartney eating an unpeeled banana. Channelling my inner Mitch Benn
26 April 2026George and Zippy do Baby One More TimeCover
A cover of the song Baby One More Time by Britney Spears, performed in the style of George and Zippy from Rainbow. A long-term part of my set.
26 April 2026Whole Lotta Shakespeare - Big Finish #32Hybrid
An Elvis style number with me on vocals (bvs and band by Suno from my own composition) about a Big Finish story for The Doctor Who Podcast
29 April 2026In The Matrix - Big Finish #33Hybrid
for The Doctor Who Podcast, inspired by a Big Finish story – Neverland – a disco song about the matrix on Gallifrey
30 April 2026Singing RhubarbImprovisedOriginal
An improvised/written offstage and sung for the first time on, based on some MC conversation with an audience member about their selling of Singing Rhubarb.
30 April 2026May 2026
Has My Time Gone By? - Big Finish #33 (pitch)Hybrid
A pitch for The Doctor Who Podcast, inspired by a Big Finish story, a full song with me singing and playing on the piano, augmented by a couple of stems from Suno and then edited to death
1 May 2026Catfish and ChipsOriginal
A quick satirical song inspired by seeing the headline on the BBC News about chip shops quietly substituting catfish for cod
1 May 2026Song Challenge #62 - Nasty New York AirOriginal
The air quality in New York City. Channeling Sting for this.
2 May 2026The Local Facebook Group - Promotional re-releaseOriginalStudio
This is the original video of the song, marked with some album art, and the mix from the album.
4 May 2026The Strimming Incident - Promotional re-releaseOriginalStudio
This is the original video of the song, marked with some album art, and the mix from the album.
4 May 2026Song Challenge #64 - Ex In The AtticHybrid
Sitcom theme tune for a show called Ex In The Attic.
5 May 2026Song Challenge #65 - Secretly CheeseOriginal
A girl who is secretly cheese, packed with cheese puns.
6 May 2026Polling EtiquetteOriginal
A little comedy song on polling day for the UK council elections, inspired by an article on the BBC
7 May 2026
Eurovision - Random AI CoverHybrid
While using Suno to stem split this track to try to reduce noise, I wondered how it might manage a cover version of quite a loose performance. The answer is remarkably well
10 May 2026
Song Challenge #68 - Balaclava Phone ThiefOriginal
A song about a mysterious phone thief wearing a balaclava.
10 May 2026Song Challenge #69 - Skid MarkOriginal
When someone offers to follow you if you write a song about poo stains.
11 May 2026We Will Survive - Big Finish #34Hybrid
Relating to the Big Finish audio "Spare Parts", this is a pastiche of "I Will Survive" relating to the plot-point and catchphrase around survival in the episode. It started life as a piano vocal demo, where I re-wrote the DNA of the Gloria Gaynor classic to be the same but different and sung the lyrics. Then we spent time in Suno making a cover and adding more stems to the the raw material to edit to death in Logic.
11 May 2026Song Challenge #70 - Toad is Flying the A PlaneOriginal
The request was for "Toad flying A Plane", so I gave them what they asked for
12 May 2026Song Challenge #71 - Chucky CheeseOriginal
A repeated request for a cock and bull story about the theft of some macaroni cheese in broad daylight!
13 May 2026Song Challenge #72 - Dementia Dinner LadyOriginal
The request is to write about the life of someone who serves food to Alzheimer's patients. To be honest, I sidestepped the rather poignant subject and wrote a song about messy eating.
15 May 2026Song Challenge #73 - Kitty SeanceOriginal
They think their screaming cat might be talking to ghosts, so here's a spooky song about cats and the occult
18 May 2026Song Challenge #74 - Tesco ParkingOriginal
Why you should park your car in the trolley park instead of a parking space.
19 May 2026Song Challenge #75 - Vaping DoggyOriginal
A song about a dog that stole a vape and then had a puff on it.
20 May 2026
Hinton and Hassabis - Suno Studio RemakeAI
I always liked the original of this, but it was a bit mashed by Udio and the editing process of trying to get it to work. A Suno cover version with some extra stems and mixing makes for a better revisit.
20 May 2026